Time...

   Sit next to the fire and stare into it seeing your future staring right back, but can't seen to visualize what is out there like the haze of smoke rising above the treetops erasing the stars from the midnight sky.  Most days I look around and search for something to change,  instead of waiting for what is in front of me. I try to find the mediate between the glorious past and the bleak present.  It seems tough to change it up a little bit from what seems so natural, and find that new spark that was once a bright light in the room yet dimmed to black.  More than anything it seems to be the want for the acceptance from everyone, yet it can seem so simple life is as complicated as a Calculus problem for a kindergarten student.  We see the new and search for one as similar to the past as possible, but there is non.  I might just have to change into the two-step of reality and drink heavily the lack of acceptance to others.
   Maybe it is not something I am trying to find, but maybe someone?  A familiar face, but impossible to conquer like a great stone wall of dictatorship that keeps us apart.  A wall that faces neutral to both sides, but still stands between not to hate, not to dispise, but to keep from being together.  It's difficult to peak through the hole in the cracks to view the great friendship now and see what could've been, and what is wanted.  The wall cannot be torn down ever, because it is a consequence of our joys and our mistakes.  Neither would ever want anything to go wrong, but could sneak across any moment only giving a minuscule micro-second before all the chaos erupted.  So it stays neutral, the sides stay together with a part thinly separating as the eyes  pear through the hole until that wall is forgotten.
   So its times, not just times of joy but times of question that solidifies life.  Whether it is what we want, or what we imagine it could become something more, and possibly in time it will.  Time changes it all and what will happen through it will change a life maybe not anyones, but it will effect everyones in some way or another.  I can only hope that somethings will change to add people, places, and situations.  A mundane lifestyle can drive a person to question how they have lived their lives through now.